Do I need therapy? An informative guide from an EMDR Therapy lens.

You probably know a few people in your life who are in therapy. Oftentimes, therapy gets some mixed reviews. Some have phenomenal experiences, while others either don't get a whole lot out of it or just have a flat out negative encounters. How can you tell if therapy is right for you or what therapist to choose?

Did you know that there are technically over 50 different types of mental health therapy out there? Some of the common therapy methods include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Exposure Therapy, Gestalt, and Trauma Therapy. If you don't have a degree in psychology or counseling and have little experience in the mental health world, I could imagine deciding between these therapies could feel overwhelming.

While, all these therapies have different benefits and purposes, it really comes down to one's own individual needs and the issues experienced. With cognitive and behavior therapies, you will experience a top - down approach aimed at helping you cope, manage and change negative thought and behavior patterns with practical advice and education. Exposure therapy is as its name suggests, exposes you to the real life fear or issue in an effort to help you face and overcome what is bothering you. Gestalt therapy includes increasing self-awareness and acceptance to help resolve underlying issues by being present in the moment.

Then you have trauma therapy which focuses on healing various traumas that occur, a more bottom - up approach. EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a form of trauma therapy and on the rise as one of the most effective therapy forms out there. Many believe that the term "trauma" doesn't apply to them because they haven't experienced a major, catastrophic event. In my experience as an EMDR therapist, most people have some form of trauma.

You can typically know you have trauma from some of the side effects. This can look like symptoms of hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, anger, addiction, among so many others. We get so used to dealing with these things that we don't realize we're not supposed to. Let me say that again, you are not supposed to constantly experience negative symptoms.

Just like how pain and illness tell us something is wrong with our body, out of control emotions and negative symptoms tell us something is wrong with our mind and heart. We technically can let pain and illness continue if we don't go to the doctor and get the proper treatment. Eventually the problem worsens due to lack of care and quality of life is greatly hampered and diminished.

The same is true of negative and over-reactive symptoms. If we ignore the signals from our nervous system and psyche that something is wrong, it will worsen. Avoidance does not magically make problems go away. We also do not get anxiety, depression, emotional issues and addiction out of thin air; it originates from somewhere. That somewhere, is trauma.

As an EMDR trauma therapist I explain it like this to my clients, "trauma is anything too overwhelming for our system to handle." Typically trauma can come in two forms, big events or small moments over time. Big events are not limited to going to war or being robbed at gun point, these can also include a divorce, being assaulted, or even an extreme medical event.

Small moments over time are usually more subtle and can be normalized by society. Sometimes this looks like emotional abuse and/or neglect throughout childhood. This could also look like experiencing poverty and a general sense of lack on the day to day. Frequently I see clients who had loving parents who tried their best, but ultimately, they were human and their own traumas came out through misguided parenting that oftentimes lacked attunement and validation.

Over time, I have come to realize that if someone is experiencing symptoms that steal from their peace and joy on the regular and keep them from showing up the way they'd like to in their life and relationships, they usually have some form of trauma. Any time you have difficulty showing up the way you'd like or managing difficult emotions or experiences is a clear sign that therapy is right for you.

As a therapist who specializes in EMDR therapy, I am obviously biased. I've seen way too many magical moments of healing with clients to not be completely sold to this way of doing therapy. I typically pull from these various other modalities like CBT, DBT and Gestalt therapy as each of them have great pieces they incorporate. Ultimately, though I most often hear that these types of talk and behavior therapies only can take you so far. Oftentimes, you need to go deeper to the root of the problem to truly see symptom reduction and even symptom extinction.

If I can give anyone advice who is looking for a therapist, do your research. Every therapist has different training and experience. Every therapist is a human being with specific personality traits. Not everyone is going to be a good fit and not every therapy modality is going to be effective for you. I highly recommend working with a therapist you connect with as research shows the therapeutic relationship is vital to a positive healing experience.

If you have had a bad experience with therapy or a therapist in the past, I am so sorry. Please don't let that stop you from continuing your search for someone who will be a better fit. I truly believe everyone can heal given the right tools and help.

Hopefully this information was helpful for you. As a therapist, its important for me to educate and enlighten those who may misunderstand therapy or feel as though they will never get better. I've seen way too many wins and healing moments to ever believe we have to just stay stuck in this life.

Sincerely,

Brianna Itter, LPC